A friend of mine used to say that true love is absolute, it has no limits or expiration date and when it exists in someone’s heart, there isn’t an obstacle it cannot overcome. When you have that everlasting flame flickering inside of you it doesn’t matter whether you and the man of your heart live 100 or 100,000 miles away from each other. It doesn’t matter whether you will see him in a day or in a year; love will still be there and will live on until you find a way to be together.
Kind of romantic isn’t it? But to be entirely honest, I never really believed in such hearty, cheesy statements. Love at long distance seemed kind of stupid and pointless to me. Just imagine this… You sit at home all alone each evening, while your man is god knows where partying his ass off with god knows who. Your love life is diminished to getting it on once a month (if you are lucky to find a way to see each other that is) and the best kind of communication you get to have during the time you don’t see each other (which is a whole lot more) is through your Skype call camera, which is kind of lame really. “Who can go through that and still manage to keep it together?” I used to ask myself. Until one day I got a long distance relationship of my own. Fortunately for me that experience thought me a very useful lesson about life.
I won’t lie to you ladies. It is really damn hard to love someone who is a long way away from you, but the whole experience can be bearable if you follow few simple rules:
1. Learn to trust him. Before you start any relationship, there is one thing you must understand. If your loved one wants to cheat or betray you in any way, he will find a way to do it whether you live 1000 miles apart or share the same bed each night. So, instead of worrying sick all the time over something you have no control over, lock all of your jealousy demons away and give him the benefit of the doubt. If he hurts you, then he wasn’t the one for you and you are better off without him anyway.
2. Do things together. Every couple shares a bond which can only be made stronger by doing things with each other. Since in long distance relationships you won’t have the chance to do jointly, you will need to improvise. Go to the cinema and watch the same movie at the same time. Listen to the same song together or have a glass of your favourite brand of wine while chatting online. It isn’t the real deal but it definitely makes you feel less alone during the times you are not together.
3. Talk to each other. In most relationships, couples spend most of their time doing things rather than talking. Since the face to face contact is a missing factor in this relationship, you will need to fill the gaps with a different way of interaction. Make an effort to spend more time talking on the phone. Discuss your everyday life, make plans and dream about your future together. Exchange text messages and emails or spend time chatting online. It is all good as long as you constantly remind one another that you are in this for the long run and you aren’t going to give up on each other.
4. Have patience. Quite often in the effort to get what we most want we tend to lose it. We get angry, agitated and insecure. We make hasty decisions and thus we can quite easily push away the man we love. This is why, if you believe that you have found the person you want to be with, you will need to let go of your fears and frustrations, learn to appreciate the good moments and just be grateful for what you have. You have all the time in the world to love and be loved, so take it slow and enjoy every minute of it.